A Penis P.S.A.

I can't even believe I have to make this type of public service announcement to grown ass men, but apparently it is very much needed. Here we go...Sigh...

MEN WILL YOU PLEASE STOP TAKING PICTURES OF YOUR PENIS AND SENDING THE PHOTOS TO UNSUSPECTING WOMEN!

Whew! I feel better already.

There are some ladies out here agreeing with me already and I haven't even started explaining yet. For those of you who are clueless, let me break it down.

You're on the internet and someone hits you up on instant message. You really don't recognize the screen name but you think maybe it's one of my friends under a different name from one they normally use, you accept the message and begin chatting. Not even a full minute into the 'chat' you realize you don't know this person and they're just surfing around the web in search of ANYBODY to talk to. As you're ending your very short conversation, they send you a picture of their penis!
At that very moment that is when I wish I could grab it with both of my hands, gently lay the hard member down on the ground and STOMP IT WITH MY 6 INCH PAIR OF BLACK STILETTOS! (The ones with the puff on the open toe)

Men, women are so NOT turned on by your hard on. I know some woman somewhere has called you 'Big Daddy' and has made you think you should be showing your pole off for all of the world to see, but she lied.

The penis is a funny thing. It is only a work of art if it personally belongs to us (meaning if it belongs to the man we're fucking) or if its being displayed as art at a showcase with live nude models or something like that. Receiving a photo of some stranger's boner is not a turn on. Honestly it's the biggest turn off. I immediately begin to think of the guy as the biggest idiot on the 'net! Really? Is that how you want your first impression of you to be? Your cock?

And with all the lies being thrown around the internet like fast food containers out of a moving vehicle on 40 West, what makes the guy showing off his pecker think he's actually showing it to a woman? What if it was another burly, hairy assed, big love tool having guy on the receiving end of that photo? The funny part is, what if the burly, hairy assed, big love tool having guy didn't tell he was a guy? (Busting out laughing at the thought)

The strange thing is, every guy that has sent me a photo of his schlong,
1. I didn't know personally
2. I didn't ask to see 'IT!'

How cocky (no pun intended) does a man have to be for him to think women who he doesn't know, want to she his tally-wacker? And is it just me, or does every woody look the same? I have yet to see The Penis of All Penises! The King Penis! The one that just automatically wets my Victoria's Secrets and makes me try to slap my lips around the monitor just to see if I can get a taste, a whiff. Have you? I didn't think so.

Men, let me tell you what you think happens...
We get the picuture of your dick, we immediately get wet and begin to play with our pussies, rubbing our clits and fondling our nipples until we cum so hard we damn near fall out of our computer chairs. (Rolling my eyes)

Now let me tell you what REALLY happens...
We get the picture of your weinie, we roll our eyes and we send it to a few of our closest girlfriends so they can get a laugh too. We then trash it and block you from ever chatting with us again.
Get the picture?

Now, once again, UNLESS she asks, DO NOT SEND PHOTOS OF YOUR WILLY!
Ladies, make sure that every man you know gets this. Go ahead, send this to him. Guys make sure you pass it on to your friends too. You don't know which one of your boys is the Penis Monster on the internet!
Remember men, unless she asks you, do NOT send photos of your...
Ding-Dong
Ding-a-ling
Joy Stick
Johnson
Knob
Love Muscle
Male Organ
Meat
One-Eyed Monster
Pee-Pee
Peter
Prick
Rod
Wanker
Weiner or your
Woody

This has been a public service announcement.

Erotically Speaking,
Karma Eve