Say What?!

This has been bothering me for a long time, but today it really got under my skin. I know there are many things that irritate me, but this has to be in my top 10 list of 'Things That Makes My Ass Itch'.

This is something that is plain and simple. Nothing fancy. You don't need a degree to do this, but I will say you do need a certain amount of respect for self as well as others and a bit of common sense. Maybe that's why it's so hard for people to do because they are missing those particular ingredients.

Anyway, I won't keep you in suspense any longer, ladies and gentlemen one of the many things that makes my ass itch is...*drum roll please*....

NOT KNOWING HOW TO TALK!

What? What did you think it was? I told you it was simple. And before you ask, I know you're saying what does this have to do with the erotic world? A FUCKING LOT! Sit back and open your mind and let me explain what I'm talking about.

The game is still the same...
Boy sees girl
Boy wants to get to know girl
Boy opens mouth and sticks foot in...dumb boy
Girl rolls eyes and moves on

Even though I'm a married woman, I still look good enough for men to think I'm available and they want to 'holla' at me. Trust me, that is just what they do...HOLLA!
"HEY!"
"YO!"
"WHAT UP?"
"WHAT CHO NAME?"
Do they really think that is what is going to get my attention enough for me to actually stop, tell them who I am and then give them my phone number so he can 'holla' at me later? That's all it takes, uh fellas? Wrong!
It takes so much more than that to get the attention of a decent woman. Let me repeat that...I said, it takes so much MORE than that to get the attention of a DECENT woman!

Whatever happened to a man seeing a woman and just politely greeting her?
"Good morning. How are you?" Or, "Hello, are you enjoying this beautiful day as much as I am?"
See, saying something that simple (there's that word again) not only says you can maybe hold a decent conversation, but it makes that woman answer you. If you're good enough with your convo game when she answers you have something else to say to take that conversation up, to at least half a notch.
And let me stop right here for a moment to tell all men, when you ask a woman "how are you?" and she replies by saying, "fine" DO NOT say, "I know you are." Real women HATE that!

Men you have to always be prepared for a great opening line or greeting. Women are all over the place and one that strikes your fancy may tip up on you at any minute and exclaiming loudly, "You sho is fine!" does not get it. This morning as I was walking to work, I passed this guy who was looking at me as I was approaching him as if I was a sausage, egg and cheese biscuit dipped in homemade gravy and wrapped in bacon. I saw how he licked his dry lips and then wiped the wetness off his mouth with his big ashy hand. Then just as I got up on him and took two steps pass, he shouts out, "You slim!" Let me tell you it took everything I had to not turn around and say, "You fat and ashy and dirty!!"
Everyday (because I walk to and from work) I hear a so-called grown man allowing some of the stupidiest lines I've ever heard to tumble out of their mouths.
Men, don't you notice women try NOT to make eye contact with you? Don't you see us wearing our headphones, earbuds and bluetooth and honestly, we're not even on the phone or listening to music. We're just doing everything in our power to NOT come in verbal contact with you.

Now how does this translate over to the erotic world? How does foreplay and sex come from this? If you don't know, this is why you always have bullshit relationships. Think about it, if you approached a woman with a decent conversation, unless she wasn't interested, was involved or didn't find you attractive, she wouldn't have a reason to not give you her phone number. Women love a man who has the gift of gab. Women love when a man shows how smart he is with all he knows. It's like being on an interstate with a fast car changing from lane to lane at a high rate of speed. You can blow her mind with what's on your mind with all the knowledge you have with topic after topic. Women think a sexy man is a man with good conversation. What do women usually brag about when they first meet a man? "We talked all night." You ain't hearing me.

If you're smart and can talk to her right, you can talk her right out of those panties. So see, it all starts with the initial conversation. Remember, first impressions are lasting impressions. You can either get her with, "Hi, your dress is very nice." Or you can get the eye roll, the hand and a swift kick in the ass with, "Hey, you got a big booty!" Like Black Sheep once said, the choice is yours. You can get with this or you can get with that. Whatever you say, just get it right!

Erotically Speaking,
Karma Eve