Regardless of his reason behind not showing his girlfriend, wife, soul mate, help mate and rib of his life his love, his feelings need to be displayed and displayed often. The love of his life needs to know without a doubt that they are truly loved on every level. Here is a list that I created that can help point a lost lover back in the right direction. Some of these suggestions are light and will bring a smile to her face regularly. Some are lifetime changes and are for building a more committed relationship. Have fun with this and may you be blessed in true love.
1. Look her in her eyes-
When you talk to her look in her eyes, it lets her know you’re sincere and not trying to hide anything from her
2. Don’t lie to her-
You are not a child. Not telling the entire story is considered lying too. It’s better she knows the truth from you and is able to handle it than for her to learn it other ways
3. Ask her how she is-
Ask her how her day went and really listen
4. Listen to her when she talks. Don’t just hear-
There is a difference
5. Be a man of your word-
If you say you’re going to do something, do it. Scarface can’t be the ONLY man who believes all he has is his word and his…well, you know the rest
6. Plan a special event-
Weekend getaway or just because, don’t wait until it’s her birthday or a holiday
7. If you give her something or pay a debt for her, don’t remind her of what you’ve done at a later time-
If you gave from the heart it was a gift. There is a difference from a gift and a loan
8. Give her space-
Realize when she needs ‘Me-time’. Sometimes she just wants to soak in the tub surrounded by candles with her favorite artists singing in the background. Let her, she’ll be out soon enough to spend time with you and will be a better person for it.
9. Be encouraging-
Let her know that she CAN do it whatever that ‘it’ may be and you support her fully. Whatever she’s doing is going to be an improvement for you both
10. Allow her days to be weak-
Let her bitch and cry. That’s how we get it out of our systems. We’re women if you want someone stronger, get a husband!
11. Stop being sneaky-
Women have natural built in detectors and all alarms go off when the ‘trust’ seal is being broken. You’ll never get away with it…at least not for too long
12. Run her a hot bath-
Fill it to the rim with bubbles and scented oil
13. Pay for a service-
You like seeing her with her hair done? You like seeing her nails polished? You like when her eyebrows are arched? There are enough small things to choose from. Pick one and let her know this time it’s on you
14. Talk to her parents-
They need to feel they can trust you with her life and by talking to them they’ll be able to see where your head and your heart is
15. Go to church with her-
If you’re trying to build your relationship to be better and stronger, God and His word will surely help. Plus, it will help both of you be better throughout your lives on all levels
16. Be respectful-
Don’t disrespect her with your words or your actions, alone or in front of others
17. Be observant-
If you notice a change in mood, new ways of dressing or a new hairstyle speak on it. Be prepared for good or bad news. She may be going through a change in life and will need to know you’re supportive and you care
18. Pray or read the bible with her-
Strengthening up your relationship on all levels is the final outcome when you include the Lord in your lives
19. Date her-
No matter how long you’ve been together, always date her. Have a night where you go out on a date just like you did when you first met. Pay for the night out too!
20. Be a gentleman-
Chivalry is NOT dead! Whenever she’s with you she shouldn’t know what a door handle feels like. Pull her chair out for her. Help her with her coat. Compliment her
21. Be the maid-
Clean, wash dishes, do all the chores. There is no such thing as ‘man’ chores or ‘woman’ chores. Give her a break and clean up properly, just how she does it for you
22. Be the chef-
Make her a nice hot meal. If you cook meat, take time to cut it up for her, trust me she’ll notice and love you for it
23. Do an activity she loves to do-
She’s been asking you for months to join her in her yoga class. Whatever it is, just try it. You may like it!
24. Let her have a girls’ night out-
Sometimes women just need to have fun with the girls. If you’re a good man, no matter what another man says to her while she’s out, it’s not going to convince her to leave you for him
25. Send flowers-
Yes! No matter what kind they are, unless she is allergic to them, women love flowers! Sending them to her job will definitely make her smile…a day to silently say “In your face” to all of her coworkers
26. Never put anyone before her-
She is your rock! She is your rib returned to you! She is your top priority and she and everyone else needs to know that!
27. Sit down with her and do bills-
It’s a hard task to tackle and you both need to know where the money is going and how you’re looking financially.
28. Be responsible-
If she wanted to date an irresponsible man, she had other options. Think before you do
29. Pick up a card-
If you’re not a poet or your handwriting is awful, purchase her a card and leave it some place where she won’t expect to find a card. The words are already written and she’s worth fifty cents to a dollar. Yes, they come that cheap!
30. Recall a past memory-
Talk about the day you first met, your first kiss or another memorable event that you two have shared. She’ll enjoy knowing that you still remember
31. Send her on a trip-
Let her have an overnight stay or a weekend getaway someplace. Even if it’s in a nice local hotel, she’ll appreciate it
32. Compliment her parenting skills-
If she’s the mother of your children or she’s helping raise children that aren’t biologically hers, tell her she’s doing a great job when she assists with a situation involving the kids
33. Hug often-
Give her a good tight hug just because. Sometimes at the end of the day that’s all she needs from you
34. Never call her ugly names-
They lied when they said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” Words hurt and calling her stupid, dumb, bitch or anything else ugly will stay with her forever
35. Introduce her first-
When you’re out and you run into old friends, whether male or female, introduce her first. Don’t leave her standing in the background like she’s one of your groupies
36. Always consult with her-
NEVER, ever agree to do anything for anyone without talking it over with her. From loan/borrowing money to something as small as giving/getting a ride or giving the neighbor sugar, she needs to know what is going in and out of her home!
37. Never fight in public-
Are you a rival gang? Then argue in private. Letting others see where your weak spot is in your relationship is not good
38. Be a massage therapist-
When she comes home from work and sits next to you, massage her feet and calves for a few minutes while you both talk about your day
39. Dress your age-
You are not a young hip-hop college student no matter what your mind is telling you. You’re way over the age of 35 years old and should dress the part. Women absolutely LOVE when their men are dressed as sharp as a pencil and not like their son’s best friend from high school. You want her dressed appropriately, so pull up your pants and do the same.
40. Help her dress-
I had a boyfriend who knew my closet just as well as I did. We would be out and he would select something and remind me how well it would match up with something I already owned at home. If you have good taste, help her select an outfit for work or for a night out. She’ll love to hear your advice
41. Give her a treat-
In the middle of the day run over to her job and drop off some of her favorite cookies or cupcakes. Don’t stay long because you have to get back to work too. Let her know you were thinking of her and leave a bag of her favorite candy behind
Plan a date out with her and her friends-
Get to know her friend and their mate.
42. Plan a day of new adventures-
Take her to a new restaurant or park. Invite her to do a new activity like indoor wall climbing or paints and wine. Drive an hour away and check out a new town. Just get out there and discover new things together!
43. Play games-
Have game night at your house with board games or cards and the winner gets to have bragging rights until the next match!
44. Be real-
Tell her what is really on your mind. You brushing over issues and not really stating what’s on your mind will get you nowhere. Be honest. Tell her what you’ve been thinking or wanting to do. Tell her your dreams and goals. If she’s ‘the one’ she’ll be open to hear all you have to say
45. Say, “I love you”-
Say it, mean it and show it.
46. Make a montage-
Get together all of the photos or videos of you two and make a movie or a special photo album
47. Paint her toes for her-
I’ve had this done for me and it’s something I’ll never forget
48. Plan a major vacation-
Sit down and start planning a major vacation with her! Go for the gusto and have fun in the process
49. Workout together-
A healthy lifestyle creates a happy life!
50. Play 007-
Create a secret code, word, phrase or movement that will signal to her you’re ready to leave a boring party or you’re ready to get it on. Whatever you come up with only you and her will no what it means
51. Have a favorite song-
Every time you hear that song let it be ‘your’ song. It can be fast or slow but just have a special meaning for the two of you
52. Wake her up ready-
If you have children get them ready and serve her breakfast in bed during the week. Let her start her day off with a full belly and love from you
53. No misleading-
If you no longer want to be in the relationship and/or you want to see other people, tell her. Let her know the truth with how you feel so she can cut ties and move on
54. Watch your tone-
No matter what you say it’s all about how you say it. Having an attitude when you talk or making snide remarks does not cut it
55. Never forget-
When you were down and out and had nothing to offer, she was there. Now that you’ve come up, broke even and have more don’t forget who buttered your bread when you didn’t have bread or butter
56. Learn to apologize-
Learn to say the words, “I’m sorry” and mean it. Then whatever you had to apologize for don’t let it happen again. When women find themselves forgiving a man for the same mistake over and over again, it’s no longer an accident he is making, he’s hurting us intentionally
57. Have a plan-
Do you have a plan for life? Do you have a backup plan if that plan fails? Most importantly, are you working your plan? Some men have no clue, don’t be one of them
58. Keep a job-
It may not be the highest paid job in the world. It may not even be pretty, but a man should always have a job. You can’t call the shots or play king of the castle when you’re unemployed
59. Educate yourself-
Go back to school. Take a class. But make yourself more marketable, more valuable and wiser
60. Read a book-
You don’t have to be the chairman of your local library but pick up a book and read it. The saying is, “If you want to keep something away from them, put it in a book.” Don’t let ‘them’ be right
61. Hold her at night-
When you fall asleep make sure she is being held. There is nothing like feeling safe and protected while falling asleep in the arms of your man
62. Hold her hand-
In public don’t be ashamed or afraid to hold her hand. That speaks volumes to all who see
63. Never let others disrespect her-
If people see you lying to her, calling her names, and hurting her you are giving them the okay to do the same thing to her. Don’t allow yourself or others to disrespect her
64. Don’t do things that you know she doesn’t like-
No matter how big or small that thing is, if she doesn’t like it and you know she doesn’t like it then don’t do it. Every guy I’ve dated knows I hate being tickled and each one has tickled me over and over again. Stop irritating her!
65. Tell her she’s beautiful-
The media is trying to train and shape us to believe only a certain type of woman is beautiful when in fact, beautiful women come in all shapes, sizes and color. Let her hear it from you that she is your top model
66. Make her a gift-
If you have a special talent, make her something wonderful.
67. Dedicate a song-
Call her favorite radio station and dedicate a special song to her
68. Replace it-
If she’s been meaning to replace something that she lost or broke, buy it for her. She’ll really appreciate it
69. Write her a love letter-
Get some fancy paper and a pen and pour your heart out to her in a letter. She’ll hold on to it forever
70. Keep a journal-
It doesn’t have to be something you write in daily, it can just be what you keep all your ticket stubs and other mementos in on your dates out. Give it to her as a gift once it’s full
71. Become a dj-
Put all of her favorite songs on her iPod, iPad or on a cd
72. Let her be bad-
Let her be YOUR bad girl! Let her get as freaky and erotic as she wants without you questioning how and where she got her skills. She just may have another side to her that she’s been afraid to share with you because of your insecurities
73. Maintenance her vehicle-
When you drive her car take it for an oil change, get it washed and vacuum it out
74. Massage her scalp-
If she feels comfortable allowing you to play in her hair, massage her scalp. A hidden secret that many close couples do
75. Call-
When you’re out and you’re running late returning home or if you’ve been gone for a few hours and haven’t talked to her, call. It only takes a minute just to say you were checking on her. Don’t assume everything is alright or she may not need you. She just may want to hear your voice
76. Ask yourself ‘The Question’-
If you’re doing something and you’re not sure if it’s the right thing to do, ask yourself, “Would I want her to do what I’m getting ready to do?” If your answer is no, then you know you better not do it either
77. Give her a day alone-
Let her have the house to herself. Let her feel free to sing, dance, walk around naked with no children, no guests and no you being there
78. Take her shopping-
For groceries, shoes or clothes she’s down for any and all
79. Be dependable-
Whatever you do for her do it in a timely manner allowing her to know that if anything major breaks out you can handle the pressure and assist her in her efforts to get life back to normal
80. Be trustworthy-
Don’t give her reasons not to trust you. Everything you say and do should be noble and honorable. She should not have reason to doubt you
81. Watch it-
Watch her favorite television show or movie with her. Even if it is sappy or girly just you being together makes the moment special
82. Order for her-
Place her order for her next time you’re out. It makes the dining experience so more romantic
83. Picnic-
If the weather is bad outside who said you can’t have a picnic inside? Push the furniture back, put on some great music and eat good food right there at your indoor picnic
84. Forsake all others-
It’s no longer about you and your boys or even your mother. When you committed your all to her she became your number one now. Make sure everyone is aware of that
85. Take her advice-
You’ve been doing it your way for quite some time and it hasn’t worked. Be open enough to hear her out and do what she suggests. You can’t go wrong because she’s not going to steer you that way
86. Don’t hide it-
No matter how bad the situation may be do not hide it from her. Put it all on the table so it can be discussed and worked out
87. Work on it together-
Pick a project and work on it from beginning to end together. It can be anything from fixing something around the house fixing a meal. Big or small do it together
88. Be pampered-
Together, go to a day spa and be pampered. Get a couples’ massage, pedicures, manicures, facials, eat lunch. Go for the full treatment. You’ll both be relaxed and be ready to love on one another for the rest of the day.
89. Make your home a home-
Don’t always have guests over. Make your home comfortable enough for others to want to come and visit but comfortable enough for you two to have heaven on earth. Tell your friends and family to respect the time you and your mate spend together at home
90. Laugh-
Pop in a movie, go to a comedy show, and tell jokes, just laugh. You’ll be in a better mood to deal with anything and everything
91. Get help-
When things aren’t going right in your relationship, don’t be afraid to get professional help. There are trained individuals who are out here to help. Go to a psychologist, a minister or someone else who can help you in rough times. That doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you want better
92. Be at one with nature-
Go watch the sun rise or set. Take a late night stroll and look at the stars. Go to the beach and enjoy the water, just take time out to keep it natural
93. Turn off technology-
Turn off your cell phone, television and anything else that is distracting. Have special quiet times with each other and you’ll learn so much more
94. Talk in the dark-
At night when the house is quiet get in bed and talk about anything and everything. Sometimes things are better said in the dark
95. Wash her hair-
If she’s open to it, the next time she goes to wash her hair at home, wash it for her. What a great bonding moment!
96. Teach her something-
Teach her something important or fun. Make sure she’s prepared for anything whether it’s changing or flat tire or winning the next Trivial Pursuit game
97. Learn something from her-
She has life skills and other experiences that you can learn. Be open minded enough to learn something new from her. That makes you a better man, not less than a man
98. Don’t share-
Don’t share your personal relationship issues and business with everyone but her. She’s your queen, your rib and your best friend so talk to her before talking to the outside world
99. Write a list-
Make a list of ‘Things You May Not Know’ and see how many new things you can learn about each other. Maybe she never told you that she came in 1st place in a baby contest or maybe she doesn’t know about the time you got your head stuck in banister. Whatever it is come up with some things, share, laugh and learn
100. Be the best-
No matter what happens with your relationship, always be the best man that you can be. Treat her like you would like someone to treat you, your mother, and your daughters. She’s someone’s mother and daughter too and she deserves the best
Erotically Speaking,
Karma Eve
No comments:
Post a Comment